Two types of parents you might see at Walmart: open and closed. The closed mom is the nagger who constantly says, “Don’t touch that. Sit down in that cart. Do you want me to spank you? Give that to me. That’s it; I am not taking you to the store again. You drive me nuts!”
The open mom stops to look at the bath mats and the little tyke reaches out to feel the texture. “Soft,” mom says, “does that feel soft?” The child looks at mom’s mouth make the word “soft” then feels the cloth again, puts his head against it and says, “Sof… sof…” Then, with a jolt, the kiddo points to a flashing light. “Ah!” he exclaims. “Yes, that’s a light.” Mom wheels the cart toward the source of wonder. The child squeals and claps his hands. “Light,” she enunciates again. The boy looks up, “Li…. li…”
You have a God like one of those. You are a disciple-maker like one of those. Is your religion open or closed? Do you see the openness of the Kingdom of God or a closed religion of no-no’s?

A word to my critics

Let me add a disclaimer for all those who like to get offended or are looking for a fatal flaw in this writer. I will assure you I strongly believe in morality, modesty, purity, and holiness. I also do not believe openness means a lack of doctrinal clarity or compromise in any way.
Unfortunately, many highly important things such as godly living and pure doctrine have become the domain of closed religion and adherents have lost the art of leading people to truth in the open-handed way that Jesus did. This is more a discussion of method and mentality than message.
For example, let’s say the truth was that you had to be in Memphis this week. The question is do you want to walk, swim, drive, or fly to that destination? Each method has advantages and dangers. So, allow me to assume you have the right message (as you assume about me, I’m sure) and let us discuss the vehicle you use to get people to that destination.

Open and upward, or closed-minded?

The difference between institutionalized religion and pure religion is that one is open and the other is closed. The institution tries to control women and children while pure religion serves them (see James 1:27). The Kingdom of the Sky is limitless. Manmade kingdoms of earth, including Christian ones, are binding, limited, controlling, and closed.
Moses’s religion became a closed operation. I have met people who thought Moses to be the apex of the Scriptures and sought to fulfill every detail of his rules. Jesus did not think so. Read the language of the New Testament closely and you will see that Jesus is the replacement of that closed system. Moses brought rules you could measure and benchmarks you could achieve. Jesus brought inspiration you can give yourself to and never exhaust.
Think about the incentive to care for orphans and widows (those who have no resources or hope in this life). You cannot exhaust that. The planet is full of people in need. You will never be able to say, “I have completed the second commandment. Next?”
Pure religion includes loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, strength—literally with every thought, motive, movement. When will you complete total abandon? Following Jesus is infinite but risky. Yet humans are drawn to what is measureable and safe.
That love command came from Moses’s writings but most of his followers ended up trying for the other 600+ rules instead of that one. If they had just taken the “love God” command and the “love your neighbor as yourself” instruction seriously, they would never have criticized others who did not measure up or flaunted themselves when they did.

Believers in a closed system

Sadly, many Christians treat faith in Jesus as a closed system. They have made it a box to put people in rather than a launching pad to release them with. The closer I get to Jesus, the further I want to reach, the more lives I want to impact, the more I want to do for Him.
Boxy religion says, “Read your Bible, pray every day, come to church, and bring an offering.” See how quickly we want to give people benchmarks to justify themselves by? Thinking we are helping people, we cripple them. We set up obstacles instead of safety nets.
Jesus didn’t say “You’ve gotta fast, pray, give.” He inspired. “When you give… when you pray… when you fast…” He gave a model for prayer that set the foundation a person can build into the clouds, if need be. Institutions make people memorize that pattern prayer and chant it back mindlessly.
The sad thing is that when we give people religious requirements such as “read three chapters a day” or “invite a friend to church this week” we hurt them rather than helping them. What if the Lord wanted them to sit down and read a whole book of the Bible instead of just a few chapters? What if they pressure a friend to church who is not ready yet? Are we not doing more harm than good in that case?
We tell them, “This is the moral way to behave, do not watch that, do this but don’t do that.” We actually do damage in two ways when we “help” like this. First, we give them a false sense of satisfaction by telling them to live by our convictions. Second, we often block them from hearing from God on these matters for themselves. He might ask more of them than we did, but feeling justified by comparing themselves to other believers, they shrug off that Voice that calls them to total devotion.
Yes, we must teach the foundations of modesty, prayer, giving, and much more. But let us give foundations and not prisons. I am not here to make clones of myself but to liberate people from being conformed to this world and helping them be transformed by King Jesus.

How you approach people matters

Jesus used open questions. Even as a 12-year-old, He was provoking people to think with questions. There is a field of study called Motivational Interviewing. I recommend every believer at least read a “for dummies” guide to this process. Jesus seems to have understood how the human psyche worked long before psychologists discovered some of these things.
I have to thank Neil Jepson, Ph.D., for pointing me in the direction of Motivational Interviewing. I had the book on my shelf because the topic looked interesting, but I had not cracked the cover of it until this good brother, who is a licensed clinical psychologist and UPCI licensed preacher, encouraged me to investigate this field of study.
In our hurry to help people make it to heaven, sometimes we overlook something called autonomy. Jesus worked with the individual’s autonomy, their inner control center of self-governance. He did not twist their arms, threaten, or guilt them into compliance. He said, “Whoever desires to, follow Me.” His actions, words, and love gave them all kinds of reasons to follow, but He never forced and whenever they wanted to leave, He let them, though He was sad to see them go.
To work with a person’s in an uncoerced manner and with their already existing internal motivation, open questions with active listening get the ball rolling. Rather than tell people what you know about Jesus, how about asking what they know? Many times people do not need more information, just proper motivation.
By listening, I have discovered common people with amazing—even breath-taking stories—of God breaking into their lives. They might not have known what to do with their experience, but more than a lecture on why they should believe, they needed encouragement to pursue the thing God had already begun in them.

Are you awakening faith or putting them to sleep

Jesus did not show up on the scene with the normal yada preaching that puts people to sleep. He did not give a three-part sermon with outdated anecdotes, cute humor, and a punchy type of rah-rah “let’s all get out there and do better this week.” He left His audiences thinking hard.
His sermons were open-ended—no tidy conclusion. To understand Him, you had to ponder, pray, and get closer to Him to find out what He meant. Too often church exit doors today vomit out attenders who are rubbing their eyes rather than scratching their heads.
Jesus spoke in puzzle stories designed to obscure, not clarify. He was not trying to help everyone understand. He was looking for those who would dig through His message for the buried treasure. Many sold everything to get that pearl of great price, others just shrugged and walked on by.
The Kingdom is too big to put into a sermon (or blog post). It is more than academics or intellect can harness. Blah summaries and polished definitions are close-minded, not open and alive.
Institutionalized religion defines everything and boxes everyone into the same casket. The Kingdom has no lid. Are you trying too hard to make everything clear to people? If so, you are playing God. It is His style to conceal a matter and those of true nobility will search it out (Proverbs 25:2). If the disciples you are working with are not searching things out (in prayer, study of Scripture, asking questions) they are not disciples.
We cannot give people revelation—their eyes only open as they get close to Jesus for themselves. Many of my past efforts to convince or convert people have simply been eyelid-yanking moments. Just because I force their spiritual eyes to open does not mean they can see or are even awake.
Jesus was King, but He came as a guide or assistant, not a boss. “I have called you friends,” He told His disciples. Don’t put off that aura of “I’m in charge here, listen to me.” Your stress and frustration in ministry will go way down when you realize you are just a guide alongside those who are looking for Jesus. You are not a police officer forcing them to find Him.
The more they want to know about Jesus, the more you help them find out. You cannot make a disciple out of a person any faster than that person is ready grow. Work with their will, their autonomy, and do not yank them or shove them. If you force the process too fast, they will snap back like a bungee cord and you both will hurt from it.

Know anyone you can encourage with this post? Please share it with them.

In our next conversation, let’s look at some modern “open” and “closed” systems and how the church compares to both. Many Pharisees had memorized the entire Bible and faithfully taught it to others, but Jesus called them children of Satan. Let’s talk about why in that blog post—it just might shock you and leave you scratching your head.