• “It is so messy.” That is conversation I just had with another disciple-maker. The traditional (and not-very-effective) way I used to do things was much more sterile and orderly. But it was so unlike Jesus.

The messy part reminds me of the kitchen when my wife trains our children how to cook. You see, my wife is a fabulous cook with a flair for the gourmet. Her years of study and experience have left her with a knack for knowing how to combine the right ingredients and to make great food in a short amount of time. Yet, she is not content to be the only cook in the house.

Deliberately and methodically, she has trained her children to work raw elements into sizzling masterpieces. But it is so messy. We have had to munch our way through half-baked cakes, all-little-too-done meat, and cheese sauces that had too much cheese and not enough sauce. When the young learners get through with a kitchen project, you might find flour all over the cabinets, egg batter on the counter, and who knows what in the food itself.

Yes it is messy. Yes, it would be a cleaner house without kids. Yes, meals would be consistent and on-time if my wife were not a disciple-maker in the kitchen.

Jesus made disciples the messy way

When making disciples, things are going to get messy—you just have to be bigger than the mess and know that the temporary frustrations are necessary through the process of growth. Often, I think back to my old methods where I controlled the growth of the new believer. I put them through a class to tell them what I wanted them to know. It was sterile, clean, and efficient.

Unfortunately, doing “church” through the institutional model, I was not making disciples at all. A disciple knows how to think, look at new challenges, and adjust course to continue a life giving glory to God. If I do all their thinking, I will burnout like the majority of other ministers. Then I will blame myself for not being a good enough cook or just not measuring up as I should. The problem is not me; I am just following a messed up model of making disciples.

Jesus could have taught a Disciples 101 class on “do this on Mondays, this on Tuesdays, etc.” Instead, He put the measuring cups in the disciples hands. He said, “Here’s roughly 20,000 people, feed them.” Instead of them depending on Him, He leaned on them. They came up with a kid and his 7-piece meal from Long John’s. Jesus used that.

Disciples learn to troubleshoot and navigate

He was teaching them that the Kingdom grows with them—no pat answers, no ritualistic recipes. He would say, “You have been told this…, but I say this…!” By this, He taught them to examine their preconceptions.

Why do so many believers fall away when their spiritual leader dies or moves away? Because that person was doing all the cooking.

I do not know how to explain when it happens, but at some point in the kitchen a child goes from jiggling a measuring spoon and sloshing the batter to suddenly knowing how to multiply or divide portions, how to substitute an ingredient for another, and how to time everything so the whole meal is hot all at the same time. It just happens.

That would never happen if someone was standing over them making sure nothing burned or cleaning up everything after them. Jesus would say, “So what do you think…?” and push His disciples to negotiate a situation using Kingdom principles and skills He had given them.

How do you let disciples blossom?

Some of my kids wanted to cook. Others had to be coerced. Mainly though, they just enjoyed being with mom and the kitchen looked fun. How do you look to others? Does your walk with Jesus look fun? Do they see in you something they want to be around?

Believers will come to you looking for answers. Do like Jesus and give them more questions.
“What should I do about this?”
Respond with, “What does the Bible say about this?” See what they have already found in the recipe book.
“But that is not exactly my situation,” they say.
“How would the principles of that passage apply to what you are facing?” you gently prod.

Yes, it is messy, but we only grow under tension. They have to learn how to negotiate with Kingdom concepts in real life or they will never make it without you.

I have seen some of my children nearly in tears because something they made did not turn out right. Their kitchen-coach would walk them through what was supposed to go into the cake and ask if they did as was intended. Then, self-realization hits: “Oh! This says 2 teaspoons—I put in 2 tablespoons of baking powder! No wonder it tastes metallic like that!”

Disciples who can self-diagnose are the only ones who can survive.

 

Want to take a church on a journey of being like the Master Disciple-Maker? Teach the one-year series “DiscipleMaker” and see them forever changed to be like Jesus and do ministry His way.

 

Who helped you learn it be like Jesus “in the kitchen” in spite of the mess? I would love to hear your story below.

What have you learned while making disciples? What works, what doesn’t?